I’m just sat having a coffee, the dinner is almost ready for my guests this evening and I find myself reflecting. . .
It has been a time of ‘revelation!’ . . .
It has been a time of understanding. . .understanding what it is that I truly believe. . .
It has been a time of cementing!. . .cementing what I know to be true in my head, with what I know in my heart. . .
Let’s break this down. . .
My guests are in for a treat tonight, on a work bench behind me sits a dish with delicate strips of chicken, glazed to perfection, smothered in a blend of exotic spices. . .most ‘exquisite’. . .
You see, for the last six weeks I have been ‘ill’. .awaking most nights fighting to breathe, believing that each breath was my last.
For weeks the effort to walk has been agony, the drawing of breathe a chore.
Weeks of hospital visits, doctors appointments, scans and having blood ripped from my veins has been tiresome and inconvenient.
Now, before I continue I want you to view these events as the ‘external’. . .
Because now I want you to hear about the ‘internal’. . .
I mentioned that at night time I would awake, unable to breathe, drawing breathe that wouldn’t fill my lungs, lying down listening to the fluid in my chest cavity rasp with each exhale, only added to the notion. . . that ‘I Am Dying!. . .
As I paced the room, the physical signs were clear, but it wasnt these thoughts that occupied my mind, it was the thought that. . .’death is at the door and it wants me!. . .
I have decided that desert tonight is going to be a simple affair, ‘chocolate mouse’, I’m not sure wether to serve it plain, or add a medley of fruit!. . .Or maybe just a dollop of cream. . .
I began to view my life, not from the point of what I had achieved, or the time that I had wasted, but from the view point of. . .
Where am I going!. . .’whats next!’. . .
As I sat in the still of the night, when the house groans come to a halt, when all clammer and commotion have ceased, I began to ask myself:
What will my last breath sound like, will I wrestle to stay alive
Will there be a bright light!. . .& should I head towards it!.
Should I plan for a funeral!, where shall I be buried!. . .
The questions were random and in quick succession, until I arrived at the question. . .where am I going to!. . .
I wonder what its like to be a vegatarian!. . .in the days of old, all people’s we’re vegetarians!. . .but since the flood, and the Ark, we are all now meat eaters!. . .facinating!. . .
I believe in GOD, I believe in JESUS, I also believe in heaven. . .
And now that the possibility of a quick exit from this world into the ‘next’ loomed before me I began to prepare myself.
As I began to prepare myself for that final exhale, I found myself beginning to be excited, I began to realise that if this is it!. . .
I am on my way to heaven, I’m on my way to finally meet with JESUS. I am about to enter into a place of perfect peace and a place where there is no more sorrow.
A place where I will live for eternity a place where I will not have to strive. . .
A place where I will live with my FATHER a place where I will wait for a little while longer, until all men and women who ‘believe’ join me and the gazillions who have gone ahead of me. . .
Then on that great and awesome day of the LORD, the very last day of this land we call earth, when that heavenly trumpet sounds and the sky’s are ripped open and every eye and ear hears and sees JESUS . . .I will awake and live. . .live for ever. . .For ‘ever ever’. . .
I have to finish off the Sauté potatoes,rice and noodles, then the meal is almost complete, I must also sort out the dishes, ‘presentation’ is key to a good dining experience. . .
I have now had all the results back, the diagnosis is, I have hypertentia (high blood pressure) half of my kidney isn’t working and I have an enlarged heart. . .
‘So!’ . . .I am dying, but today I am still alive, medication has made breathing easier, and I can again live life to the max.
But, what I am certain of more than ever before, is that when I do eventually draw my last breath. . .
I am ready,. . .
I pray that you to have, or will find, inner peace, as you contemplate your future on this planet we call earth. . .
But most importantly I pray you have the understanding of what lies ahead . . .after you draw your last breathe. . .
Praise GOD for JESUS and the way to heaven. . .