The mornings arrived, but I’m not ready!
Its not yet daylight and my room is rather cold.
Lets talk about you for a minute, yes you!
How are you doing? . . . Seriously how are you ‘really’ doing?
I ask because, last night a friend and I began a discussion pertaining reconciliation, about letting those who caused us pain or let us down in the past, back into our lives.
As we talked a few other friends arrived and the conversation became meaty. Veins protruded from tense neck muscles, as past hurts were summoned to mind and distant injustices re-calibrated.
There’s a serious draft from somewhere, but no way am I leaving my cosy nest, to close the open window that is jovially, lowering the rooms temperature.
I sat listening to the free flowing statements and began to question my former decisions.
Had I closed out those I should have kept in my life, and if so why? Did I need a counselling session to over come past hurts, was I afraid of a real life ‘Jeremy Kyle’ drama, or we’re my decisions right?
It’s funny how the decisions we make seem so perfect at the time that we mould them, yet as time eradicates their emotional cocoon, we see clearly the pain they were birthed in
It has been said that a mans house is his castle, I’m now pondering, can a mans castle become his prison? You see, if past hurts, rash decisions form the walls of our lives, and we can only view friends and family from the ramparts, how lonely might our lives become.
The conversation finished and we all varied in our responses, yet clearly, love was entwined in the past decisions and the past hurts. It was love that had stirred into action the building of walls around the heart, for self preservation, for safety, and it was love that kept the drawbridge slightly lowered, just incase loved ones returned, or sent a white flag of truce.
I have to go now, my feet are cold and on this occasion my window has won the fight, I must arise and close its gaping jaw.
But just before I go. . . how are you?. . .’Seriously’. . .Are you ok?. . .
Or, do you need to lower the drawbridge? Do you need to revise your relational decisions? those that were birthed in wrath then cemented in misery.
Call me, lets do lunch, I may not have all the answers your looking for, but I can walk beside you until you find them.